We did get to see the FANTABULOUS Dr. Petrizzle yesterday, and I must just say again that WE LOVE THIS MAN! He said I had done everything right and gave me a prescription for an antibiotic to be used if my attempts last night should fail. I had been using garlic/mullein oil in her ears, Hyland’s Homeopathic C+ Cold tablets, Emergen-C, and a new remedy we tried that I LOVE is Newton’s Sniffles homeopathic drops. Hazel and I both used the latter with great success, but her sinus pressure still really bothered her ears at night. So last night my final trick was to use the vaporizer with a little apple cider vinegar in the water and a combination of vegetable oil and tea tree in the medicine cup. PTL it worked! I am so happy that it looks like I won’t hafta use that dreaded antibiotic!
Before last night we had spent a week of being up many times in the night, and by the time we got to Dr. Petrizzle’s I was a tired wreck of a woman. I even cried on him! And I am SO ASHAMED to say that on the trip home dealing with crazy drivers I actually desired to pull up next to someone, roll down my window, and scream the foulest of obscenities! Then of course I felt HORRID for sinning by harboring such a thought. I set the boys up with videos when we got home and took a much needed nap with Hazel. I felt SO MUCH better after that! OH how fatigue can break us~it can be a spiritual help to take a nap! LOL!
While in this notoriously bad mood yesterday I did dream up a pretty negative post. I purposely try not to share the ugly, because in doing so I might disrespect family. This is truly NOT my desire, but I must say that I am normal. Sometimes due to issues in my distant past I feel like I am NOT okay in life, but thankfully it’s not any more than the usual dysfunction of anyone else. Maybe it’s because I’m four years away from forty that I’ve become so reflective~it’s time to shed this old baggage! And I’m afraid it’s also time to find my voice in dealing with others too. Anyway, here’s a few random and cryptic thoughts that have been streaming from this:
1.) We women set the tone of the household, like it or not. Our optimism may not always seem catching, but I *guarantee* that our pessimism is. If our attitude is “This is hard!” or “Woe is me!”, our children will definitely pick this up and view their circumstances as dire as well. Ask me how I know! LOL!
2.) In continuing the thoughts above, we women also help or hinder the relationships in our household. It’s like Mrs. Aardsma once said in “The Mother’s Companion”~if we talk about our members and expose them in a negative light behind their backs to the other members, we are tearing down our houses with our own hands. This is especially true of parental relationships! As a Mother, if our children have an issue with their Father for any reason~even if they’re right~it is our duty to first point out how much Daddy loves them! Men are different than women, and a little “ribbing” is so totally and completely normal! No one is perfect, and we must always point them to forgiveness, as we are forgiven in Christ. (Now y’all, I’m sure there are extreme exceptions to this that I realize must be handled differently. I pray such circumstances are not the norm~even though some women would try to view a normal situation as such!)
3.) I have been blessed to hear the perspective of some beautiful black women that I know. They think it is totally irresponsible for a white woman to have black or biracial children and not educate themselves on how to do their hair. They also shared that we need to carefully raise our biracial children and not perpetuate the everybody loves everybody type of syndrome. The reality is that biracial children will encounter racism, so on some level we do need to prepare them for that and not expect our view of acceptance to be their entire life experience. I’m not sure I’m representing these ideas as well as I wanted to, but it was really good food for thought since I tend to love my La La Land, and I so wanna raise healthy, well-adjusted children!
Lastly, dear Tam left me the most beautiful comment last week (or was it the week before) about spending an hour with my family being on her 10 Things to Do Before I Die list. OH GIRL! You made me smile and smile! (I think she is one of my biggest encouragers!) However, PLEASE know that I am NOT all I’m cracked up to be! And I actually know a few people you could talk to that would LOVE to take me down a peg or two in your opinion~LOL~and some of their sharing would not be unfounded, I’m afraid… I’m actually patiently awaiting the bloggy takedown~LOL!
(((((HUGS))))) sandi~forgetting some of what I had wanted to share, so expect an edit to come!
Oh Sandi, I have been so convicted lately on the ’setting the tone’ thing. I get so worked up over the silliest things! I am what you’d call ‘high-strung’ and it needs to stop. I definitely see this rubbing off on my daughter and I am praying not only for help in changing myself, but also that God will reverse the damage I’ve already done to her.
It stinks. I learned this from my dad and now I’ve begun the cycle of passing it onto her. It must stop here!!
Thanks for another reminder of my responsibility to this family. It is something that should be shouted from the rooftops!
I’m with you. One of my greatest struggles is my tone of voice which (like Missy) I learned from my dad. Although I try so hard, I continually fail. One difference from my childhood being that I’ve shared many times with my children and husband about this struggle in hopes to educate and arm them NOT to pick up my bad habits, and to ask their forgiveness. They pray for me because they love me, and because they would like me not to speak that way anymore.
Much love to you. I’m so glad you didn’t have to resort to the antibiotic. I was not educated about homeopathic issues when my daughter was Hazel’s age. Poor girl practically lived on antibiotics for a year. Makes me sad to think about.
And the question of the day, how do you fix your childrens’ hair, especially Hazel?
amanda
your post is so beautiful. i have an african-american daughter. i am not her bio mother, but her foster mom. i learned a lot about life from raising ali and i learned that all people are not kind and good towards others. my boys, her brothers, would approach shop owners and ask them why they were following theri sister and not them? they accused more than one store worker of being racist and of racial profiling. i had to teach myself about her hair, and i learned the hard way when takign her for a new ‘do’ before homecoming and then she had a basketball game and the new ‘do’ frizzed. ouch. i then learned how to straighten her hair with a hot iron. i also learned what make-up companies didn’t create make-up for african-american skin and tones. i’m rambling here, but you made me realize how much i learned from raising ali.
where is she today? she graduated from high school and went on to college on a volleyball scholarship and is now is graduate school. and yes, i am still mom and she is very close to her brothers still and talks to them every day.
I didn’t know you had biracial kids. But then again, you’ve never posted a family picture.
Hey, lady, I just wanted to check in on your world. This is a wonderful post, and so true. I have had to check self and where my attitude hinders us during the days together. For a couple of reasons, we have worked really hard in completing the book work, but we’ve seldom taken a field trip break or even gone to the library! So, instead of being Ms. Taskmaster, I began (just yesterday), after dealing with the oldest’s lackadaisical attitude, to welcome the kids to the table with a big, grand, “Who wants to learn today?” Her sarcastic response was “Not me”, but added a quick, “I’m just kidding.” At any rate, it allowed us to laugh in the midst of some hard work we’ve put in lately. In the next two weeks we have a couple of breaks for trips so I think we’ll be able to lighten up a bit and appreciate the home in homeschooling a bit more. God bless you, Sandi!
Aaaah yes. Setting the tone. I, too, fail at this daily. I am working on it, though.
I’m bi-racial and adopted. My mom didn’t know how to do my hair and she struggled with it. I lived through it. Would life have been better had she been able to do my hair right? Who knows. She covered other things that were more important, I guess
One thing about bi-racial hair is that it is a different beast. Mom would take me to the black beauty salon and even they didn’t know what to do with my hair. They treated it like regular Af. American hair and I left the place all jacked up. As an adult, the best relaxer I’ve ever had was by a white woman with not a bone of black in her.
Anyway, I could talk hair forever!!
I’m so glad you stopped by my blog. It is always fun to find new friends in this blogosphere. I know what you mean about the tone…I wish as a woman I didn’t always carry that “responsibility” but I need to keep it in mind and check my attitude. It is the aroma of our hearts.
Thanks for visiting my blog, because it led me to yours! I just want to add that regardless of whether our kids are bio or adopted, and regardless of their race, we need to prepare them for the fact that “the world” is not as loving, supportive, or forgiving as home. It’s a temptation to overprotect, to wrap them in our arms and never let them go, but they need “the whole armor” of God’s word as well as our love.
Sounds like you are well on your way.
Love this one. Especially about raising biracial children.
LOVE LOVE LOVE your tidbits about little miss hazel. Such a cutie!
Miss you!!
(((Lindsay)))
Thanks for your kind comments about my blog when you were discussing porches and center halls. I just now saw that post.
Working on setting the tone of our home with our attitudes is a daily challenge isn’t it! But, it’s worth it.