Yesterday started sooo beautifully and ended sooo badly that I am SO HAPPY to get in the Word today with a study! BTW~my Pastor’s wife had shared that I should read Nehemiah, and if you are partial to fears or people/parent-pleasing, you really should read this too! Now onto the preface of this study:
Sunny begins by sharing with us that a submissive wife was NOT made to be her husband’s doormat. I will admit that I had years of struggle with this. One speaker I highly respect once shared (something like), “But what do doormats do? They wipe the dirt off the feet of the saints.” I am naturally prone to such behavior anyway, and I spent years in silence. My darling shared more than once that he WANTED and VALUED my opinions, and sadly it was very difficult to find my voice again. There are families that are falling apart after years of a wife doing this, grudges and bitterness held (toward the husband) over years of a husband not knowing what is even offensive to his wife because she’s not saying *anything*~even about simple preferences! LOL! How stupid is that?!!
I do know that we are heirs together in the grace of life. That God values men and women equally~He just uses us differently. Sunny also shares Philippians 2:3 with us which happens to be one of my very favorite verses: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” Though Sunny is specifically referencing this verse to be applied in marriage, I can’t help but go off on a little tangent. I truly do try to live this way, which is why I think I enjoy different types of people so much and why it DRIVES ME CRAZY to be so harshly judged for the way I’ve chosen to live~by Christians and non-Christians alike. (YES! I have plenty of non-Christian friends!!! ~GASP~) I accept that we are all different~uniquely created to be so by God. We all have special strengths and weaknesses that also go into the why and how we do things the way we do them, and studying this in people FASCINATES ME rather than motivates judgement.
To apply that scripture to marriage let me also share another thought from the same beloved speaker: My OWN sins are a full-time job! I really don’t have the time or the energy to concentrate on my husband’s. Living by this principle for so many years has done a lot of GOOD in my marriage! (And again, my view of people in general.)
(((((HUGS))))) sandi
this is y i love u so much!
[My OWN sins are a full-time job!]
Sandi I am able to be like this in this marriage. In my first marriage not so much. My ex-husband’s choices were exposing me to huge, ginormous, life-long, life-changing consequences. Spiritually, I don’t understand what it means that the two become one flesh. But, in a very real way, I know that I shared the consequences of my ex-husbands sins as if I had directly participated in that sin. Some of those consequences are part of my life even today. They affect the way I choose and think. I wish there was a way to teach this to young girls who are looking for a spouse. Looks fade. A good personality may disappear if life circumstances get tough. But, a man who desires to love and serve God above all is a life long blessing.
I guess I am saying that, just like I believe it is appropriate and honoring to share opinions with your spouse, I believe there is a time and a place to point out sin in your loved ones life. I am not saying take responsibility for helping him (or her) change. I am just kind of thinking that sometimes we need to plant a seed that the Holy Spirit can grow.
We are in total agreement here! (((((HUGS))))) sandi ETA that my persspective on my own sins being a full-time job were catered more to the nagging wife who can’t see past minor faults.
My thoughts are with you… (((HUGS)))Mica