As far as the East is from the West…

…that’s how far He has moved our transgressions from us, and really~shouldn’t we do the same for one another?  It’s been a trying week.  It ended with one of the most BEAUTIFUL weddings I’ve ever been to~OH was the bride most LOVELY!  The reenacting of part of “Fiddler on the Roof” just sooo clever, the wit and wisdom of the pastors (who happened to be the bride’s parents!), the prayers for the relationships of all attending, the AMAZING letters from the bride and groom to the Pastor on why they chose to marry one another, reconnecting with family, the whole way in which the wedding was conducted with so many donations to worthy ministries~I could go on and on!  I was looking forward to meeting and making new friends at the reception and dancin’ the night away with my darling and my family!

But alas, my poor darling does not travel well….

There’s a bit more to it than that, but OH the tears and inward ANGER and gnashing of teeth from me!  OH the prayers for the LORD to strike me down and put me out of my misery that very minute!  I mean, I had been feeling so STUCK in this house, rarely getting to go beyond its four walls~this was the HIGHLIGHT of my summer!  What about what *I* want for a change?  Y’all, I was a ball of DRAMA and could go on and on and on!  Some with merit, and surely much without.

The reason I am sharing sooo much TMI with y’all in a way that I don’t usually is because my anger came to a head this morning.  I KNEW what the correct Christian response was, but I wanted to remain steadfast in my selfishness.  I KNEW to pray, “LORD, change me!” but my heart wanted to scream “CHANGE HIM!”  I kept pondering the end of Stepping Heavenward when she’s at the door of death, basking in the glory of the LORD and sharing how if she only had kept His peace she wouldn’t have let her petty grievances with her husband get to her, to distract her from the main thing~she would have loved him through them all.  If I could just grab ahold of that peace in this moment….

Then I went looking for the LORD, and I found Him!  (Or rather, He met me…)  I had grabbed my Bible and journal and a Gatorade and just left for a walk, and I found myself sitting at a picnic table under a tree in a little park BEGGING the LORD to speak to me through His Word.  I started reading in Nehemiah that the joy of the LORD is my strength.  How He is a gracious God of forgiveness and great compassion.  Of how He NEVER forsook His people~even after they had sinned against Him time and time and time again!  I started taking notes with this STUPID pen I had brought that wasn’t writing well and entertained the idea of “wouldn’t it be neat…” without really belief or expectation.  Then I searched the ground at my feet and saw a pen lying right next to me in the grass and immediately started to giggle! 

He dried my tears and changed my heart in that moment~OH He is FAITHFUL!  And that is why I share this with y’all today.  On the way to the wedding my darling and I were discussing why the marriages of the children of faithful parents who remained married ’til death did them part still so often end in divorce.  I had told him of my discouragement in this~if great examples like Billy Graham and the Schaeffer’s had children who went wayward, then what hope have I?  and today I realized that the answer isn’t in the parents or their upbringing.  It’s in the faith of the believer who made a covenant before God.  It’s KNOWING God in such a way…  You know, all else pales in comparison in those moments when we meet with Him and hear His voice or see His face! 

I just don’t even know what else to say….  I am in awe of Him and not even sure I’ve expressed myself well!  But I know the joy of the LORD is my strength in all things….  (((((HUGS)))))  sandi